i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
