end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I love you. Go after that dick
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
