Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
