Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good

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  (512): Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good http://tfl.nu/r9g3
  Replies (5) Good night (1595) Bad night (630)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  what time did you get home last night?

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time

  (1-917): View more from New York City

  He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott

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  (917): what time did you get home last night? (1-917): SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time (1-917): He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott http://tfl.nu/lqla
  Replies (16) Good night (1894) Bad night (978)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,

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  (203): these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them, http://tfl.nu/bifo
  Replies (13) Good night (970) Bad night (3518)
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  (619): View more from California

  He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.

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  (619): He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting. http://tfl.nu/l79o
  Replies (58) Good night (993) Bad night (3769)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.

  (1-515): View more from Iowa

  Deal!

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  (515): You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit. (1-515): Deal! http://tfl.nu/vj0b
  Replies (20) Good night (7931) Bad night (674)
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  (310): View more from California

  The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.

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  (310): The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss. http://tfl.nu/o71q
  Replies (23) Good night (1607) Bad night (5036)
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  (408): View more from California

  she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.

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  (408): she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night. http://tfl.nu/jplo
  Replies (16) Good night (793) Bad night (3715)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.

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  (616): I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night. http://tfl.nu/m0ls
  Replies (68) Good night (2196) Bad night (4020)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.

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  (+44): Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket. http://tfl.nu/5ggv
  Replies (11) Good night (4186) Bad night (1159)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.

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  (571): I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend. http://tfl.nu/5ie3
  Replies (11) Good night (2385) Bad night (1257)
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  (415): View more from California

  Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up

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  (415): Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up http://tfl.nu/w3uw
  Replies (27) Good night (6172) Bad night (1126)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore

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  (480): its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore http://tfl.nu/mq1v
  Replies (7) Good night (970) Bad night (2226)
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  (408): View more from California

  We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar

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  (408): We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar http://tfl.nu/h9fi
  Replies (1) Good night (583) Bad night (424)
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  (714): View more from California

  I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging

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  (714): I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging http://tfl.nu/ow1d
  Replies (3) Good night (364) Bad night (654)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?

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  (519): Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay? http://tfl.nu/v6m9
  Replies (5) Good night (879) Bad night (385)

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