Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
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