Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i think my mom watched the whole time
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
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You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
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I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.