I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa