Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.

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(617): whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker. http://tfl.nu/hnpp

Replies (14) Good night (1810) Bad night (824)
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(407): View more from Florida

you definitely have a few illegitimate kids

(1-407): View more from Florida

probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine

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(407): you definitely have a few illegitimate kids (1-407): probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine http://tfl.nu/6feu

Replies (32) Good night (3563) Bad night (1595)
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(260): View more from Indiana

dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?

(1-260): View more from Indiana

what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing

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(260): dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian? (1-260): what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing http://tfl.nu/axih

Replies (51) Good night (18215) Bad night (1263)
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(931): View more from Tennessee

How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.

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(931): How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you. http://tfl.nu/giys

Replies (7) Good night (3326) Bad night (1152)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'

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(+44): I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.' http://tfl.nu/vhcz

Replies (5) Good night (2614) Bad night (1592)
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet

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(920): If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet http://tfl.nu/w7lt

Replies (3) Good night (1951) Bad night (713)
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(217): View more from Illinois

He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..

(1-217): View more from Illinois

YOU would be the Freshman Expirence

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(217): He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that.. (1-217): YOU would be the Freshman Expirence http://tfl.nu/md5b

Replies (6) Good night (1526) Bad night (473)
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(365): View more from

As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.

(1-365): View more from

I was judging you.

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(365): As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over. (1-365): I was judging you. http://tfl.nu/3tin

Replies (3) Good night (3127) Bad night (497)
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(713): View more from Texas

just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!

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(713): just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success! http://tfl.nu/u8oi

Replies (4) Good night (1318) Bad night (531)
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(940): View more from Texas

I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.

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(940): I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him. http://tfl.nu/9uqa

Replies (15) Good night (2109) Bad night (822)
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(804): View more from Virginia

Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?

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(804): Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend? http://tfl.nu/fa11

Replies (2) Good night (1207) Bad night (349)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game

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(732): It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game http://tfl.nu/utsf

Replies (2) Good night (319) Bad night (375)
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(503): View more from Oregon

Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.

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(503): Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY. http://tfl.nu/gw0u

Replies (3) Good night (554) Bad night (214)
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(231): View more from Michigan

Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.

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(231): Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool. http://tfl.nu/mwvh

Replies (13) Good night (331) Bad night (636)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.

(405): View more from Oklahoma

It was so scary.

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(405): I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out. (405): It was so scary. http://tfl.nu/0h8m

Replies (4) Good night (832) Bad night (246)

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