just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
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I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
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He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?