Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did