you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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