Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
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just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
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All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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