I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
