Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
