dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
