i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
