very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
