i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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