Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
