Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
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Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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