covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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