Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
She's the barista slut.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
