Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Verdict: uncircumcised.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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