I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
