I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
