I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
