Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
