He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
