no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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