I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
