areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
