I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
