tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
