Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
