you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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