Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
