There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
