That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
