I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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