And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
