There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I FOUND THE LEGS
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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