so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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