Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
