Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
