kristin has been a bad kristin
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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