do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
