I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize