and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
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the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
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Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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