I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
