She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
