she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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