So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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