just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
