Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
