I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
