it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
