I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize