I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
now i know why i became what i already was.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize
