Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
