Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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