Have you finally orgasmed yet?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
