A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
don't judge my taste in strippers
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
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