I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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