hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
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Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
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how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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